I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
