White coat. Heels.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
