Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
