I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That accounts for only three of the penises
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When are your genitals available?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
