Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
