Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
