I seem to have left my pride at pride
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
