I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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