I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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