i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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