were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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