I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
