i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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