I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
