I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
