Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
