Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
