I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You are a genius and a whore.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
