Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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