are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
