Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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