Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
