For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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