Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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