at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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