O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
