does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
