i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
