If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize