I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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