Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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