This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
