this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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