marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
