i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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