I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
