Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
