I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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