I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
