She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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