dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
