in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
either way he was missing a nipple.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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