you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
