Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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