Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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