Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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