Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
