whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
