i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
