People in love make me want to vomit
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
