he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
